Courage Under Fire

I'm trying to sort this all out in my head. I want at least 6 (surviving!) kids. If they were spaced 2 years apart, and I got going now, I'd have the last one at 38. Not sure what to think of that. Possible? Sure! Probable? Hm.

• There's the "wait a year 'till I'm healthy" alternative. Make them 18 months apart. Maybe.
• There's the "have twins" alternative. As if I could control that in any form.
• There's the "adopt some of 'em" alternative. Can't really know that can happen either.

Hm.
The "wait a year 'till I'm healthy" version looks most logical. But people, what would make me think I can do that? My current make-a-baby rating is a big fat 0%. I realize a lot of women will lose one and have no more problems. But when your success rate is losing all you've ever had, it's a lot easier to dwell on the woman you know of who has made 17 babies - 3 of whom made it out of her tummy. Know what I mean?

I did realize one thing though: My Gran had the courage to go through this for 2 decades before she had her only baby in her arms. Guts run in my family, people! My Gran and I have something hard-core in common. We both know the value of a single baby girl. We both know the desperate longing. I'd always seen her as my grandmother. She's fast becoming my hero and "fellow mommy." We're fellow warriors now. Who knew.