Husband Wisdom

"Poor Tammy. I'm gonna miss that 3-breasted chicken."

"I like to be with you. When you go somewhere in your head, I wanna come too."

D: "My leg is named Fred."
H: "Really. And what's the other one?"
D: "Napoleon Bonaparte."
H: "Which is which?"
D: "It's hard to tell. They're identical twins ya know."