Missing Eden

For weeks now, I've been waiting expectantly to feel movement. Thinking about that this morning, I realized Eden should be trying to kick her way out of me by now. She was due in March. And now as I'm excitedly waiting to feel movement, I'm wondering what she would feel like right now. I never expected being pregnant again to make losing Eden stop hurting. I just never realized losing Eden would put a damper on being pregnant again. Here I sit pregnant with our second baby and still wishing to everything the first was in me. Makes no sense. Wouldn't make sense if I didn't feel that way either.

I knew having another baby would make losing Eden less ... severe. Certainly when March comes. But the bitter in bittersweet is thick.