Praise my Coolness

It infuriates me to hear women complain about what it feels like to be pregnant after they've lost a baby. How could any mother, having experienced that, moan and groan like her next child is the worst thing that ever happened to her? I mean really. To make my point clear, imagine a woman who has just miscarried hearing a healthy pregnant woman whine 'cause her feet are swollen. See what I'm getting at?

After losing Eden, there were a few major things I was determined to do different the next time. I would keep my hand on my belly a lot and talk to the baby. Mission accomplished. And I SWORE I would not complain about being pregnant. Okaaaaay...

And then, because of being pregnant, I got that 20 minute foot spasm where my toes were disjointed. The one that left "spasm status" but still has not relaxed - 4 weeks later!
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Not gonna complain huh? Hm. Well so far, I've been able to not complain. However, I've done a lot of telling people about it, looking for help, and crying. I have said many times that speaking strictly from a physical perspective, getting pregnant was stupid. And it really was, but I'm not just physical. (referring to my pre-preg health here)

One thing about it though, it's worth it. But it's so hard right now. No obvious belly to show off, not feeling movement, none of the really fun stuff, and yet I'm hurting. Doesn't it seem like the hurting should atleast hold off until I get the fun stuff too?

Really, I have a lot to be grateful for. I mean, have you met my husband? I have a baby waiting for me in heaven. And after being afraid that Eden might be the full extent of me being pregnant, I am pregnant again. There are indications that the Lyme will be gone soon. I've been off seizure meds for about a year and nothing has happened. I am spending my days doing exactly what I want to.

Life's good really. It's just always somethin'. Seems easy enough to just accept that and start ignorning the bad stuff. But dang - being in pain 23 hours a day?!
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I am very active about keeping myself excited. It's hard to remember there's a good reason for what I'm feeling. It helps my attitude when I...

• "pick out" maternity clothes on-line
• or a diaper bag
• or boy, girl, and neutral baby clothes
• follow sites that tell me how big Super-baby is and what's happening with him
• wear my maternity clothes at home (they won't fit for a while)
• "waddle" around the house with my hand on my belly
• dress carefully so that my bump looks as big as possible
• go out in public dressed this way and plaster my hand to my belly (my favorite feel-good trick)

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Women should be able to enjoy being pregnant. What cooler thing could you ever do? One thing about it, I DO feel cool. I am SO cool actually - just incase you didn't realize that. And as my belly gets bigger, my coolness increases exponentially. Y'all remember that.

Help me remember that.