"T"

I just realized that in my last post, I forgot to say that Baby will now be "T" on here. So, we have "D, H, E, J, and T."

We'll go pick up the urn tomorrow (Sat.) "Urn?" "Ashes, cremains, or T?" I still don't know.

The follow-up appointment was ok. Nothing to tell really.

I've got this sinking feeling that everything is just about over with. I mean, I'll still cry sometimes when I'm 90. But the *physical* part is about over. Not much related to being pregnant is left. It's a relief. And it's horrible.

I've learned at this point that I can't presume I'll ever be pregnant again. (I mean seriously, how eager would you be to try?) I can't help but think this is the last of what pregnancy is for me. I don't want to let go.

Besides, it almost feels like it's the last few moments of having T - and that's a whole other ball of wax.

I've been in my prayer journal 2+ hours a day for the last 4. Been awesome. Know what I mean that the hardest things you go through with God are the sweetest? Not that I'd volunteer really.

We have one single ultrasound picture. It's printed on receipt paper. I've been warned that they fade just as bad and just as quick as receipts. This weekend, we'll take it somewhere and get it copied onto actual photo paper. I seriously hope it works. It's a bad pic, but it's what we've got.