All the Little Details

I've made mention of this before, but Mother's Day is coming up. Great. Just great.

It's common on Mother's Day for all the mothers to be asked to stand in church. Puts me in a funny position now doesn't it? I have not yet decided what I will do, but I guarantee by the time I'm there, I'll be very certain of the decision I have made. Meanwhile, my stomach and heart are both knotted.

I've also had to wrestle with whether or not I can say that I'm a "stay at home mom" (SAHM.) You see, Flylady has a new forum, and there's a subforum there for those who are "stay at home" but not yet "mom." This left me wrestling with whether I belong there, or would fit better in the SAHM subforum.

However, I've decided about this SAHM thing. I AM a SAHM. It just looks different than what you'd expect.

For what it's worth, I also answer with "yes" when people ask if I have kids. I just follow it up with something like, "2 in heaven" or "but none living yet." Being a mom without kids, there are a LOT of these little details you have to work out.
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I talk to many other women who have lost babies. There's a wide variety in how the others choose to handle this stuff. But what seems to be common is how society at large views us and our children - we're not mothers, and our babies aren't really our children - never were.

I'm under the impression that what I do by crediting myself as being a mother, and crediting my children as being my children, flies in the face of our culture. Of course, I am also faithful to my spouse and don't cuss.