Available
I've decided to copy and paste a story for you that I told a friend this week. It's personal, but I want you to know this side of God is full-scale available. Though it will sound subjective, it only is to those who've never experienced it. If you're in that group, I'm posting this for you.
It took place Friday night, 8 days ago...
~~~~~~~~~~~~
This past Friday night, our Friday night group met at our current building for the last time. It was a church building we just rented each week. After group, we all wanted to just spend some time in the building - a sentimental thing ya know.
So I left the room we met in, and went to the sanctuary. It's one of the fancy type with stained glass, and a high ceiling. It seats about 200. All the lights were off - only some light glowed through the stained glass.
I'd already been talking to God before walking in, and I slowly made my way to the front, still whispering. I sat down, wrapped in a blanket, on the front bench, and was crying within a minute.
More than anything, looking back over the last year, I was crying for my babies. I was doing the lip-splitting crying, ya know? As if I'd just found out they were gone. And I cried out of deep gratitude that God, in February, had saved my life. And I cried with the realization that he'd saved *their* lives too.
But the REAL part of this story is how real God was during it. Would you believe, as I pitched forward, tears streaming, and absolutely in anguish, it felt *good*? I could feel him that much. He was as real as I was. I wasn't remotely crying alone in the dark. It was more like God had pulled me into his lap, and turned off the lights, so I could cry. Absolutely amazing - I can't even describe it.
Ya know how you can have peace, but you can also have *God's* peace - a different definition of it - a gift of the Spirit. Girl, I was covered in it. I could clearly feel him on me, and loving me.
I haven't grieved like that for months, but it's a beautiful feel-good memory. How cool is that! God's sweet like I've never known sweet before.
It took place Friday night, 8 days ago...
~~~~~~~~~~~~
This past Friday night, our Friday night group met at our current building for the last time. It was a church building we just rented each week. After group, we all wanted to just spend some time in the building - a sentimental thing ya know.
So I left the room we met in, and went to the sanctuary. It's one of the fancy type with stained glass, and a high ceiling. It seats about 200. All the lights were off - only some light glowed through the stained glass.
I'd already been talking to God before walking in, and I slowly made my way to the front, still whispering. I sat down, wrapped in a blanket, on the front bench, and was crying within a minute.
More than anything, looking back over the last year, I was crying for my babies. I was doing the lip-splitting crying, ya know? As if I'd just found out they were gone. And I cried out of deep gratitude that God, in February, had saved my life. And I cried with the realization that he'd saved *their* lives too.
But the REAL part of this story is how real God was during it. Would you believe, as I pitched forward, tears streaming, and absolutely in anguish, it felt *good*? I could feel him that much. He was as real as I was. I wasn't remotely crying alone in the dark. It was more like God had pulled me into his lap, and turned off the lights, so I could cry. Absolutely amazing - I can't even describe it.
Ya know how you can have peace, but you can also have *God's* peace - a different definition of it - a gift of the Spirit. Girl, I was covered in it. I could clearly feel him on me, and loving me.
I haven't grieved like that for months, but it's a beautiful feel-good memory. How cool is that! God's sweet like I've never known sweet before.
Labels: The God Journey
posted by Holly and David @ 11:06 PM
2 Comments:
At 11:33 AM ,
Jan Kelley said...
Somehow I touched something and your blog popped up. Unbelieveble! I lost a chid too. My 17 year old daughter, Mandy Kelley, who was killed by a drunk driver as she was driving to church on June 26, 1994. Heartache that is difficult to describe. You know, though, dont you? What a gift for me to read your words and to see your stockings. God is in control and He is so good. He gave me the gift of your post today. May God richly bless you, dear one, for you have blessed me today. Jankelley in Houston, texas jankelley@hotmail.com
At 10:20 AM ,
Holly and David said...
Jan,
Thanks for commenting.
I've always known that my blog would make a difference to some woman somewhere. It's good to know who one of them is.
And your confidence that God had a hand in it makes it really fun. :)
H
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