Got Me a Bunny

Issa itty bitty bunneh!

I have no real news. But we went to Target last night and went to look at the toys on the way out. Looking at the dolls, we found a new kind whose name involved the word "hearts." Don't remember now. But they all have clothes on and look really nice. A far cry from the "I wanna be a hooker when I grow up" Bratz. Anyhoo, this bunny was one of many pets for the heart dolls.

I couldn't resist. She warms my fuzzy little heart!
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Once I've done everything on my routine list for tomorrow, that'll mark the first time I've done everything for a solid week.
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Remember the neighbors we met during the tornado? We're having dinner at their place tonight.

Whiteboydj

Linking you to some hilarity. Click on the links for the music videos "Easter Sunday" and "Baby Got Book."

Whiteboydj

P.S. Crank the volume. You know you want to!

Worship Yesterday

I'm specifically writing to tell you that worship yesterday was ROCKIN' AWESOME!

We sang like 2 songs, then sang one involving "holy holy holy." I tell you, there's no way to sing those words and it not have an effect on people. Somewhere in the middle of it, I thought I felt the atmosphere "shift." It's this "God's here" feeling that I'm slowly starting to recognize. The next song was "Oh Happy Day" and by the end, the place went nuts.

When the song ended, the room broke out in spontaneous clapping - and clapping and clapping. Made me think of what happens when people clap for the president. Many were yelling things like, "Jesuuus!" and "Praise you Lord!" Most of us were giggling and laughing. And then the clapping turned into the kind you here at a football game - everyone timing it together. It was like God dumped a heap of joy on the room.

Afterward, David went and got communion for us. But trying to pray with me, he couldn't do it. We were both laughing too hard. I just went, "Ok, look. Thanks, God!" And that was that.

I'm still on a high from it! Which, ya know, is why I'm blogging on a Monday.
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But while I'm at it; our House Group re-boot didn't happen. We *think* we know whose group we'll be in. We can tell ya for sure in 2 weeks.
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And the guppies are fine. We went to a nice petstore Saturday and explained the situation to a man that works there. The theory is that the plastic flower pot I put in the tank must've had dish soap residue on it. Ironically, I washed it in the first place for fear there was something dangerous on it, and I did rinse it a bajillion times. Detergent will adhere to their gills, keeping them from breathing.

Anyway, the man told us to add sea salt to the aquarium to make their gills slimy, and give them a round of a certain antibiotic as a precaution. We did both immediately and as of today, less than 48 hours later, they seem normal. Not being too hasty, Harry will go in the tank this weekend. And one week later, barring problems, we'll get more fish.

If God was a Bag of Salad...

I'm SURE he'd let me do this!

I was reading through my old posts and came across this one.

It basically says that life is grand, I'm surprised by how good it is, and I'm grateful for it. This was pre-Lyme, pre-kids, and pre-learning that God is way different than we thought.

It's like the calm before the storm. Got me thinking. Did God know how hard things would soon be, and so was giving us a lovely time of rest first?

Not that I think God caused the hard stuff. But given how good things were, and how bad they soon got, it makes me wonder. Maybe that time period was the comfort that comes before even needing it - the ever-present provision and kindness of God.

Maybe it was kind of a "I don't want you to go through all this, but since I know you're going to, I'm gonna lasso you into a big ole hug first."
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Interesting note: At the end, I mentioned that God was definitely changing something in me. I mentioned a new reality and being a different person. And this was before I even knew what I was talking about! Back then, it was just a hunch, a solid knowing. And now look at some of our wild recent posts! Dude.

News of the Week

Look! It's me and Mr. Husband! 'Cept he's more lamb-sized too.
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Due to some misgivings about the laptop's sanity, 214 favorite pictures from our first 2 years have now been printed. Wedding and Greece pictures were skipped, since we do have them stored on CD's. Now for a photo album of monstrous proportions.
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The 4 guppies ditched swimming last week in favor of hovering. They congregate on the gravel, sit still, and mumu waaaay too fast. Nothing was different except that I had put a plastic flower pot in the tank the day before it started. A few days ago, not finding anything else wrong, I took out the pot and replaced about 90% of their water. Yesterday, put the guppies back in. For a couple hours, they swam. Now, they're hovering and doing the rapid mumus.

I have had a tank since I was about 9. I've done well with 'em. I am frustrated beyond belief. And Harry the Tetra will have to deal with staying in quarantine until I can get the tank healthy again. Poor Harry. Shoot, poor guppies.
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Last weekend's conference:
(Which I think I mentioned we were gonna go to.)

All I will say in a public place is that extroverts freak me OUT!
The group was loud. I am quiet.
They like to dance. I'd rather be super-glued to the chair.
Kind teaching is done in a yelling fashion. At my most hyper, I'd still rather be whispered to.

And yet, this is not the first of these I have willingly attended. Next time, I take my Stealthy Undercover Invisible-Body Machine. And my Big Red Mute-the-World Button.
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Tangent, but...

Our church is rebooting our House Groups this coming Sunday. Which got me thinking;
WHERE do we fit in?

Take a "young married no-kids-yet" group. Byeeeeh (wrong answer buzzer noise). We look like them, but we're parents. They can't possibly get it.

So, we head for the "young married have-little-kids" group. Byeeeh. We don't have a clue what it is to raise children, and half of them wouldn't give us the time of day as parents anyway. (Aside. Our House Group is kinda this group and we do fit. But, ya know, House Groups are rebooting.)

And so we turn back to the groups we already hang with most, the "could easily be our parents" group. Here, we have the people who know what it is to be parents, have been around long enough to know loss, and as a nice bonus, they've been around long enough to know about things as freakish as Lyme.

Now as much as I hate to admit it, my mother was right about the topic: You'll never have a group you fully fit with. But I prefer to have someone we fit easily with besides a support group.

Nevertheless, it's very frustrating that everyone our age is so, well, care-free. In college, we both had a same-age group we had tons in common with. Looks like it'll be a few decades before we do that again. We're so weird!

"Could easily be our parents" group, I hope you hear simple frustration and not "ew gross." We looove you!

Pictures

Flickr now has pictures from July 4th, California, and our apartment. Remember to go ahead and take what you want. I do have to delete some each time I add new ones.

Just Ask

There is a blog post for September 9th. I want you all to read it, but I don't want to put it on the internet for public viewing. Simply ask to have it emailed to you. I wrote it in an email to myself - I only have to forward it.

California, and Faith vs Logic

'Ello you lovely personages! Come forth to be flabbergasted! Curious-ified! And mayhap, appaaaaalled!

So, I'm thinking our biggest news is the California trip. (Just sec, Beau needs a little duct tape on his beak. [stomp stomp stomp SQUAWK stomp stomp stomp]) Ok, like I was saying...

California wasn't a "trip to California" per se. It was more of a not-here trip. We flew out Wednesday the 20th. Thursday and Friday, D was at a conference all day. (Programming language, smart people, lots of computers and long hair.) I spent all those 2 days very intentionally alone with God in the hotel room. It was marvelous. I took my Bible, prayer journal, the verses I'm trying to memorize, and a heap of questions. I spent something like 23 hours those 2 days just honed in on Him. Did I mention it was marvelous?

Being it that the heap of questions was really personal, I'll only give an overview here. But so that you kinda get the impact of the weekend, you oughta know that the weekend was a closure to several weeks of struggling with God. The beginning of those several weeks, I sinned in an "idiot" fashion rather than a "we're all human" fashion. There was much to work out.

Anyway, I brought about a half dozen gut-wrenching questions to God - all having to do with His trustworthiness. I wrote them all out, dug through my Bible, journaled my head off, etc. That was Thursday and Friday.

Saturday night, we went to a church some of our friends recommended. No joke that about 5 of my questions were answered while there. Answers came from the rather odd words of the songs, to the speaker literally talking about one of my questions, to him using the exact words I'd used for another one, to the way the Spirit manifested that night - it was wild.

It was so amazing, in fact, that we went back the next morning on the way to the airport. We only had time to stay for worship, but during it, God answered my last major question. Just. Wild.
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Just after that trip, we went to the Lyme doc in Michigan. Nothing to report. I'm still on amoxicillin. I got a few detoxing IVs while there. My symptoms are still just muscle quivers, tight feet, and some hip pain. At this rate, it's rare that my symptoms alter my life any.
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We've done a bit of fun shopping lately. I've been getting adrenaline rushes lately just from the thought of buying random brightly-colored things. D, on the other hand, only allows for things we actually need. That's how I ended up with a new prayer journal. I finished off the last one in California - a Lisa Frank notebook. The new one is the picture above. It's college-ruled, and hard-covered. I've never had anything with critter print - it's so not me. Yet, it's kinda fun. I'm stoked.

We also bought cloth for me to make curtains for the second bedroom. We hunted all over the store, neither of us sold on anything (that had enough cloth on the bolt). Then I picked up the above print and held it up to D. His eyes brightened. You know you picked the right man when you can show him pink hearts and flowers and his eyes brighten! I scored. I'm diggin' the dude.
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I've been thinking lately about how logic and faith just do not work together. There's one side of this where they do; the part where we're supposed to always be ready to defend our faith. But there comes a point where you either believe or you don't.

Physical evidence can prove a lot. The evidence that God exists though just lands under "probable." You can convince yourself out of "probable" if you really want to. "Probable" covers his existence, his concern for us, Jesus' resurrection. But if you WANT to not believe such things, you CAN. And you can finagle the facts to make your position look logical. You can "logic" your way to being illogical - if you want to. Eventually, it boils down to a simple, "Will I choose to believe?" Logic'll get ya close, but it won't get ya there.

I've been thinking about this because of my own faith struggles. I use reason to be convinced that God is fill in the blank. Then I use reason to be convinced he's NOT fill in the blank. Back and forth and back and forth. I've been very unstable - mentally and emotionally - because I've been doing this.

Finally, it clicked yesterday at lunch...

Ya know James 1 where the person who doubts is called "tossed by the wind," "double-minded," and "unstable in all he does?" That has been ME. To a scary tee. And after dumping a gallon of ink on that prayer journal, it finally became clear; this has nothing to do with logic. I can not reason my way into believing, because so much won't make sense with believing. I can not reason my way out of believing, because so much won't make sense without believing. I'm having to just choose to believe. I realized I can't even say "I choose to believe because..." "Because" leads me right back to using logic - which, clearly, isn't cutting it.

If I can be "logic-ed" into believing, I can just as easily be "logic-ed" out.

Food for thought.
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And this may interest you: D has been wanting (for like forever) to make a computer game. But he wanted me to help design it so that I would play it with him. We've started the rough draft. It involves pink, butterflies, muffins, lollipops, a polar bear, and flowers. I wanted to make sure he can be proud to show his man-friends. Brrru-wahaha!

Geek + Girl = a laptop that mocks you